Google Knows What Racing Needs

Winter racing at Aqueduct (Walter Kobbe)

Those of you on Facebook have no doubt already seen this fine little meme floating around and perhaps even done it yourself. You do a Google search with your name and needs, e.g., “dana needs” and then write down the first 10 results.

As of yesterday mine were… dana needs:

1. some breathing room

2. three imaginary girls

3. help

4. a self-embedding of a U-Box

5. some advice about her old girlfriend

6. a lot of comforting

7. a dose of transarency, accountablitilty (sic)

8. emergency prayers

9. to slay the beast

10. to eat some breakfast

So why not ask Google what racing needs? It did a pretty good job on my list. I’d say 1, 3, possibly 4 (if I knew what that was), 6, 7, 9 and 10 are definitely true. Not sure I’d limit 2 to only three and I’m happy to report that at this time 5 is not valid, but if it were then I think 8 would also be in order.

According to Google, horse racing needs:

1. an authority figure

2. Big Brown vs. Curlin

3. a revolution

4. a permanent fix

5. to get jockeys into position

6. more than a slogan

7. to change

8. to look at it’s future

9. U

10. to change it’s approach

Go Google! All but 2 & 5 seem right on to me. Forget committees and reports and studies… that takes time and money, Google can identify and prioritize issues in 0.24 seconds! But why stop with just racing in general, I’m sure Google can be of more assistance.

NTRA needs:

1. to show it supports it’s stars

2. to address this

3. to do everything in its power to prevent the closure of any more racetracks

4. the AQHAs money for lobbying efforts

5. to elaborate and defines what is

6. needs to talk

7. to go unless they become an all encompassing regulatory body that enforces across the US

8. to get a load of this too

9. to embrace the obvious

10. to be more democratic, more open

Breeders’ Cup needs:

1. to change conditions if it is to compete with international rivals

2. Some Fine-Tuning

3. to put a plan in place, like NASCAR did

4. to find a new announcer

5. Another Race

6. to name a race in honor of Wayne Lukas

7. to focus less on hustling a quick buck at the expense of the fans

8. to plan well in advance

9. to get the color-coded saddle towels

10. a star

NYRA needs:

1. to stop the temper tantrum and realize that they screwed up

2. to rethink its focus

3. a bailout

4. to review how it provides passes and boxes to public officers

5. your help to continue moving forward

6. dramatic reform

7. to do is create a Belmont week that features live racing and family-friendly festivities through the Belmont Stakes

8. a response blog

9. your help

10. new – not just new, but better – direction

And there you have it. Racing, 99% more efficient thanks to Google! Too bad Google doesn’t have a “how to implement” algorithm.